Am I Too Black to Be Beautiful?

By: Sabrina Lima

#Myblackisbeautiful is a hashtag spreading like wildfire. As I stand in front of a mirror, I look at all my features, and I ask myself:” Is my black too black to be beautiful?” It is often perceived that the lighter your skin, the more beautiful you are. The most depressing part about this beauty standard is that some black people believe that as well. Lately there has been a wave of appreciating women of darker skin, but it hasn’t fully helped some dark-skin women, such as myself, feel any better about themselves.

These beautiful dark skin women that the spotlight is shined on, usually have blemish free skin and model-like bodies, almost as if they are too good to be true; too good to be an every day dark-skin. On social media it is so easy to love your dark complexion and love your race, but once you check back in to the real world, you soon forget about how beautiful and glamourous your melanin is.

You soon forget how beautiful your skin is when guys continuously overlook you. You soon forget how much your melanin sparkles in the sunlight when people call out how it blends in the shadows. Once you check into the real world, people just rub against the melanin that shines in the sunlight, and soon all is left is “burnt” skin.

There is a journey that I’ve faced, and that I am still facing concerning loving the skin that I’m in. Honestly, I have been writing this article for a good three months now because I have been having a little battle with myself on truly loving myself, and every little aspect of my life. My insecurities barely existed before.

I knew i wasn’t the lightest child, but as I got older, my skin got darker, and I never really noticed how dark my skin was until recently.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t let others let me feel down about my skin complexion. Who knew how much of a battle that would be.

I have lived in a very diverse town in North Jersey for most of my life. My town is full of people of all races, blacks and filipinos being very dominant, so I never really felt out of place because I was surrounded by other people that were my skin tone. No one really picked on my skin or brought attention to it whenever they could.

My friends and I would just laugh together about how we can’t afford to stand in the sun for too long, but it was okay because we knew exactly how the other person felt and we weren’t putting each other down. Everything changed when I went to highschool. I applied to this vocational high school that was 20 minutes away from my town, and by the grace of God, I actually got accepted. Even though I was still going to be living in the same town, I wasn’t going to have any of my friend group with me in my new school . I was in it all alone, but I wasn’t scared because I’m good at “faking it until I make it” .

What I didn’t expect was for this high school to not be as diverse as I was used to. In my freshman class, I could literally count the amount of black people on my two hands. With my luck, I turned out to be the darkest person in my grade, and I felt like all they could see was my skin color.  The skin complexion that I once thought of as beautiful, suddenly wasn’t as beautiful as the skin of the lighter people surrounding me.

Not only did I think my skin tone was ugly compared to white people, but it also was ugly compared to black people that were lighter than me.  I felt like some of my new friends helped me feel that way. Some would say jokes about how dark my skin was and how i matched my black winter coat and how I “acted white”.

Suddenly, my dark complexion never went unnoticed.  Of course I would laugh along because I wouldn’t let others have the satisfaction of breaking me. But on the inside, I was so heartbroken and some of my hometown friends advised me to stick up for myself, and I attempted.

Whenever they commented on my skintone I told them it doesn’t matter because I’m very black, and I’m very proud. I doubt they took me seriously because I let it drag on for so long. But as the school year progressed I began standing on my own more.

This year with all that has been coming to light with all these racial conflicts, I have started following more black empowerment accounts. I have been following more twitter accounts praising my complexion and my race such as @MyBlackMatters. I have now realized that if you do not shut down ignorant comments made towards you, that ignorant person will continue to jab at you because they think there’s no issue.

I have been surrounding myself with people who love me for me, all flaws and all. Slowly, I am starting to love myself more. Soon I hope to discover that no matter what any guy says or any ignorant person says, you can never be too black to be beautiful. What I want most of all, is for all black girls to feel confident and to love the skin they are in.

The presumption that lighter you are the more beautiful you are needs to be diminished. To that girl who is insecure about the extra dose of melanin that she got, look in the mirror and realize that you can never be too black to beautiful and you are beautiful no matter what anyone else says.