Black Girls Reloaded

By: Rebecca Blanc

Being a black girl is quite an experience. We are women and black, two entities that have been belittled by a western, androgynous society. Our livelihood is being attacked on a regular basis through the improper representation of black beauty. The lack of Black Nationalism in America leads to black kids with low self-esteem, unfortunately, like I was. For me no one on TV, in school or in the community was talking about black positively. I needed to know that my hair, skin, and face were all beautiful and I did not need to compare myself to my non-black counterparts.

There was a lot of self-hate in the black community when I was growing up but I now see a significant shift in the way black people are perceiving themselves. I see parents embracing their child’s natural beauty versus trying to relax their daughters’ hair, and keep them out of the sun to avoid getting darker in hopes to somehow achieve “whiteness”. We are loving ourselves and each other. We come from a rich history and glorious aesthetic, so there is no need to feel second class to anyone. The perspective of being a black girl is becoming an empowering one.

With the way the media was portraying us during my childhood, it is no wonder black girls tended to feel less than. Black girls on most shows were comic relief- a joke. They never had leading roles; they were just present, with no real voice. Seeing this over and over as a narrative made me feel I had no other. I felt I could not be front and center by default based on the way I looked. While I was not fully comprehensive about the media being a tool for systemic hate against us, it definitely affected me.

Since primary school, I knew people did not value me. Students did not like me or want to be my friend because there was a national outbreak of anti-black girl-ness. They’d call me “stupid” and isolate me. They’d “befriend” me just to use my cool shape markers or take some of my snacks. They would yell a little harsher and become more serious when dealing with me. When they would play with their hair in front of me I’d become envious; I’d feel inadequate.

I started to believe I was not enough and needed their approval. I fell for the lies of being lesser and looked for validation from privileged students. This was a dark time in my life, but I grew from it. It was so easy for young black girls to fall victim to having low self-esteem. We were not being celebrated the way other girls were. However, young black girls of today have a counter product to anti-black girl-ness: black girl positivity.

Society is now embracing black features, especially black hair. I know I wanted straight, long hair as a child. Although my mom took the time to do my hair and buy me fun barrettes, I still preferred straight hair I could just wear down. I even relaxed my hair in 8th grade against my mom’s wishes. But at 20 I transitioned back to natural hair that I love. This image issue I had with myself could have been eliminated with the right reinforcement of my hair being beautiful the way it is. My mom saw beauty in my hair which I’m grateful for, but when everyone else around you is encouraging you to change it, you go with the popular vote. Had there been a show like “Doc McStuffins” when I was growing up, my hair issues would have been short lived.

For example, on an episode of “Doc McStuffins”, a show about a young black girl who’s a toy doctor, a doll named Curly Q, a black doll with an afro is self consciousness about her hair. The other toys get their checkup and love their long straight hair. When it’s Curly Q’s turn, she desires to be called solely “Q” and wears a hat then hiding her hair. Doc McStuffins becomes aware of Q’s self-consciousness. She also re-learns that she once disliked her hair too, and found the right style that made her love it. After doing the same to Curly Q, she loved her hair!

This Disney Junior show tackled black girl hair in a simple way that left a good impression on countless viewers on the idea of black hair. Young black girls today viewed that episode and thought highly of their hair, learning nothing is wrong with. There’s also a “Sesame Street” episode where Lupita Nyong’o is featured with Elmo, singing about her loving her skin and hair. This television moment is critical for girls today. Black skin is already politicized, but when it comes to darker skin there’s a hate. This shift for dark skinned women being perceived as beautiful is becoming a norm more each day, and some credit is due to Lupita Nyong’o. She embraced her short hair and dark skin. It’s a blessing to see a shift in the media in terms of black presentation.

“Black is beautiful” being conceptualized at a toddler’s age is definitely a game changer in the way black kids will start to perceive themselves, primarily with that fact that they will actually look at themselves instead of looking towards other races and comparing themselves. While the kiddies are embodying their blackness with media, so are tweens, teens and adults that have a lot to unlearn from past ideas of what being black is, what being beautiful is and that those two ideologies can manifest in them.

There is a great social media hashtag called #BlackOut where black girls post pictures and receive and give love to other black girls. Black guys join in on the fun too. Every time it happens it’s a trending topic on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. There are news outlets that write positively on black fashion and culture, instead of mocking it or appropriating it, which still occurs, but there is an effort to eliminate such trends.

There’s even an award show dedicated solely to black girls called “Black Girls Rock!” This show has everyone from black girls in the community to black female celebrities present; and all they are doing is just celebrating their black and their achievements as black girls. Things like these were obsolete growing up and it’s so wonderful to see the shift happening.

The shift can be seen in my own life. I know that black girls today will grow up confident and endowed in their culture because I see it happening in my cousin. My four year old phenomenal cousin, Leila is the young girl I always knew I was on the inside. She loves her hair, her skin and her face. She is surrounded by friends and family that confirm this feeling. This can be reaffirmed when reflecting back to a moment I saw her being a proud black girl.

One weekend at a BBQ, a group of women surrounded my cousin admiring her. A woman told her she was beautiful. Her response was a confident “I know.” This took me aback but made me joyful. Seeing a young black girl be instilled that she is beautiful to the point she believes it without hesitation is phenomenal.

There is now permission to know you are beautiful as a black girl. There is community reinforcement. There is portrayal of it in media. It is an amazing time to be a young black girl. We already are a powerful group that proves it in our work, art and existence. Imagine how much more powerful our future black women will be with a positive self-identity. It will be great to see how many woman grow up without the struggles of depression, trauma or low self-esteem. The world has accepted our beauty; now we can enjoy it the way we’ve always should have.