By: Alexis Ditaway
Love is something that defies standard, goes beyond expectations, and breaks limitations. When it is real, it is something you cannot control, and something you cannot ignore. This is something that I believe in, and fully support. Therefore, before I go further, let me say this:I do not hate, dislike, or look down on black men who date, love, and marry white women. What I DO have a problem with, are the black men who REFUSE to date black women based on preconceived notions and stereotypes.
“Black women are bossy. Black women are too hard to handle. Black women want too much, they have too many attitudes.” and other generalizations are reasons (I personally call them excuses, but I digress) as to why some black men now avoid dating black women.
Many black men have decided that dating black women is “not worth the trouble”, and have deliberately excluded us from their dating pool, seeking the attention of women of other races, primarily white.
As a counter argument to this, I could say that we should promote love within our own race, that the fact that you came from a black woman yourself should be reason enough to love one, and so on and so forth.
But I don’t think I have to go this far to get my personal point across. The bottom line for me is that if you don’t have the audacity, strength, and desire to love a black woman for all that she is, she probably isn’t worried about you anyway.
Black women are power. We are a force of nature that has both its bad and good days. However, if you are far too concerned with the bad that MAY be an issue, then you do not deserve her at her best.
Your refusal to date a black women because she will stand up to you, speak her mind without your permission, and be whoever she decides to be that day does not change the fact that she will do ALL of these things. Rather, it is somewhat of an insult to whatever race you decide to seek after, saying that they are submissive and easier to control. But, once again, I digress.
Black men not dating black women is something that I refuse to spend my time being mad about, because I know that the man that is meant to love me will love me regardless of what he has heard or experienced prior to me. Furthermore, a black woman is not something to “deal with”.
She is something to experience, adore, cherish, and love. She is a prize well worth working for. Anyone that can only imagine “dealing with” me, is someone who doesn’t look at the bigger picture.
So to the black women who feel that they are losing out to women of other races, fear not, boo. You are fine the way you are every day, even on the days you are upset that your twist out didn’t come out right. And to all the men who still feel like they will not date black women: carry on. We really didn’t need you anyway.
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