Don’t Love Me to Death

By: Niyah Brooks

Holding Black male celebrities accountable, who have shown traces of abusive behavior, IS NOT an attack on all Black males. While I agree that mainstream media has perpetuated negative stereotypes and tropes pertaining Black men, I don’t agree this gives a right for any abuser to continue to be glorified. Money and/or talent should not overshadow abusive behavior.

Domestic violence is an issue that silently affects Black women. Often, we are taught that troubling issues witnessed in our homes, stay inside our homes. Many of us have seen family members being abused verbally, emotionally, physically, and financially. Being that these issues have been put aside, we haven’t solved them. We’ve also haven’t been taught to treat these issues with seriousness. So many women have been victims of abuse without even realizing it.

Celebrities, such as, Floyd Mayweather, Chris Brown, Ray Rice and Bill Cosby have been accused of having abusive behavior. Mayweather will go down as one of the greatest athletes of all-time, but this doesn’t excuse his physical abuse towards women. Mayweather’s own son has labeled his father as a “coward,” after witnessing Mayweather brutally beat Josie Harris.

Chris Brown was one of music’s most promising talents when he was notoriously accused of being physically abusive towards, Rihanna. Although Brown hasn’t been accused of being physically abusive towards Karrueche Tran, their tumultuous relationship has played out for the world via social media. Tran has even stated she was “mentally abused” by Brown. More recently, the two had a fight at a nightclub, which made headlines.

The world witnessed Janay Rice being physically abused by her husband, Ray Rice, but she defended Rice insisting that the focus be on her husband’s football career. America’s dad, Bill Cosby, has been a household name for generations, but once he was accused of being sexually abusive towards women, before anything could be proven, the general public dismissed the accusations of the women.

According to the Center for Disease Control, domestic violence is one of the leading causes of death of amongst Black women from the ages of 15-44. These women lost their life at the hands of the ones who claimed to love them. One can easily state that the solution is to leave, but many experts have stated that it takes an estimated seven times to leave an abusive partner.

For those who have never been a victim of abuse, it is often hard to fathom how someone can be controlled by their partner. Abusers are typically charismatic and seemingly caring individuals when they first meet their victims, but over time they present frightening behaviors.

As stated above, these behaviors aren’t always physical abuse. Some partners begin to isolate their victims from family, friends, ensure that their victims have no access to finances, stalk victims after separations, communicate threats, and often ridicule their victims.

Black women love our Black men, and we know that Black men love Black women. Love isn’t control. Love isn’t forceful when your partner shows disinterest. Love doesn’t come with a black eye or an apology. Love isn’t psychotic. While love does drive us to act out of our element, there should be a level of respect.

Relationships should be healthy. When Black men or women are held accountable for using love as an excuse for abuse, this isn’t a jab to the entire community. We must simply start the conversation about abuse to prevent lives lost and start the healing process for survivors. The next time you see a headline about any celebrity displaying signs of abuse, despite money, fame or talent, it should make you uncomfortable.

 

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