By: Toun Cole
I never felt the need to be cautious about the color of my skin. I was just doing my own thing but as I got older, and started putting myself together as a girl should, I began to notice that others had a problem with color of my skin.
The first time I experienced someone condemning my Blackness was when I was in 10th grade. A classmate told me, “you are so black”. Of course I shouldn’t have cared much about this comment but the way she said it made me feel unloved and disregarded . I remember thinking, what is so bad about me being black?
After that comment, there were other times where the subject of skin color came up and I’d hear something like “Oh no she’s not as black as………..”. I wasn’t the only victim of this unacceptable act. There were boys in my class back that were darker than me in complexion who also got judged.
I tried to ignore all of this for months until I got to 12th grade and someone told me, “you are really pretty for a darskinned girl”. After hearing this I felt so bad but I kept a calm face. To them they had complimented me but to me I found the ‘compliment’ to be rude. It was especially disconcerting that this comment was made to be by African girls were dark skinned themselves.
I was derailed by the fact that people people of my own color were acting this way towards me and were not spreading love as they should have been. Everything was so wrong about it. I was so mad that my best friend noticed and asked me if I was ok. I told her everything and she told me not to beat myself up about it and that my skin was flawless and that she thought I was beautiful, and in fact more beautiful than the girls that were condemning my skin color.
Her words touched me, and I gained more confidence. I no longer cared about people’s opinions of my skin color. After I graduated high school, I gained even more confidence by meeting women that were darker than me or same as me in complexion that were drop dead gorgeous. These women showed me just how beautiful black really was. I learned that my skin tone doesn’t define my personality and that I have a lot of great qualities to offer.
To those dealing with what I went through that are thinking of using skin lightening products, which i was adviced against by http://touchuplaser.com/. You shouldn’t ruin your skin just because people don’t appreciate your Blackness. If they don’t accept you the way you are now and you bleach your skin, you are gonna regret for the rest of your life and they still aren’t gonna accept you. I remember a girl once telling me to go and bleach my skin. I was shocked. She told me I needed it but I’m glad I didn’t listen to her.
Today my mom reminds me everyday about how beautiful my black is , so does my best friend. I also make sure I share the love out there to everyone, not just dark skinned people. I tell them how nice they look and when people around me complain about how dark they are I now remind them that there are people out there craving for their skin color, so they should embrace it and make their melanin pop. To this day I still love my blackness and I am still gonna love it tomorrow and till the end of me.
Some people actually think it is fun to insult others with their skin color but the main fact is that those critics are just insecure and they see you as a threat. Trust me, you are gorgeous . I plead to people to make others comfortable in their own skin and not say mean stuff which can be traumatizing. My melanin is poppin’ and I LOVE MY BLACK, It brings out my beauty . Let us accept one another and spread the love.