Empowerment Featured

Selfie Check! How Do I Love Me?

By: Jasmine Bledsoe

We have all been through it, not knowing how to properly love ourselves. We go around telling the world “I love myself!”, all the while we secretly do not accept who we really are. But ladies, I get it. When you live in a world that does not truly appreciate the black woman, how are you to feel worth anything? We are almost always used to merely benefit others. So, how do we learn to love ourselves? I will tell you here shortly! First, I would like to tell you all why I struggled with loving myself.

Growing up I was always TOLD to love myself but I was rarely ever shown what self love was. To be quite honest, I was rarely shown what love, proper love, even looked like. So, trying to eliminate all of the toxins that I had learned became very hard and seemed almost impossible. There I was, seventeen, not knowing my old self or current self. I was trying to figure out how I could love someone that I didn’t even know.

I legitimately hated everything about me. The way I looked, my personality, my gifts and talents. All because I had been brainwashed to believe that I wasn’t enough. I even went through a phase of questioning my existence. I became totally ok with never waking up again and I didn’t care who it would hurt.

I suffered with depression and anxiety all because I let life trick me into believing I wasn’t strong enough.

This went on for years, about four or five. Until one day I got tired of feeling like I was worthless. I took a step back and looked at my life. Seeing how unhappy I was because of people and situations made me wake up. Seeing that my unhappiness did not affect others was the only reassurance that I needed. If they could still live their lives and sleep well at night knowing I’m unhappy. Why would I spend my life unhappy and hating myself when they don’t even care? I also had to learn to forgive myself for mistakes that I had made. That was one of my biggest burdens but you can’t do redo’s. Why would I let the past burden me?

After this I did what I like to call a “self evaluation”. This helped me to examine myself totally; mind, body, and soul. Why was I so unhappy? What was really the root of the problem? I went through and figured out what I struggled with and then developed my “plan of change.” This step helped me to be reactive to the past and present self hate and also proactive for the obstacles I would encounter in the future. It was the only way that I would ever make the step towards changing how I felt about myself. The next thing I did was “execute” my plans. I took it upon

myself to show me love! I had to learn that if no one else loved me, I have to love me. Right now I am in the “maintenance” stage of my plan. Everyday I speak words of affirmation to myself or do something nice for me.

Today, I love me some me! Not because the world doesn’t love me, I could care less if they do. But because it is important for each of us to love who we were created to be. See, when you love yourself you are limitless. You believe in yourself, you walk with pride, you are more successful, and you are fearless. Most importantly, when you love yourself you can properly love others. Loving yourself gives you the ability to help someone else who may be struggling with loving who they are.

You become selfless when you love yourself properly. You have the power to change things when you are pure. If I had known the impact of me loving me, I would have made the transition from self hate to self love so many years ago. It is never ok to live unhappily, ladies. No matter what life has thrown at you, who doesn’t love you, who has hurt you, or how many mistakes you have made; you must let go and forgive so that you can live in love.

As promised here is how we can all learn to love ourselves:

1. Self Evaluate

The Self Evaluation should consist of you writing out a list of things that you can honestly say you do not love about yourself. Things you want to change or learn to love; mind, body, and soul.

2. Create A Plan of Change

Develop a step by step plan that is strictly about your personal growth. Use the things you wrote down in your self evaluation to build from. Make sure you make copies of your Plan of Change to put in different places as a reminder.

3. Execute Your Plan

Make it your business to consciously act on your plan DAILY! If you make it a part of your daily routine, you will get the results that you seek.

4. Maintain

Periodically go through your Self Evaluation to make sure that you are growing in love with things you may have once hated. If you keep change on your mind, you will change!

Leave a Reply

30 Comments on "Selfie Check! How Do I Love Me?"

Leave a Comment

Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
1 year 11 months ago

This was really helpful glad that helpful possibilities are here so we can use.

1 year 9 months ago

This is the most profound blog that I have read about loving self. All of the steps you mentioned are true. I self evaluate all the time. I also know when to self evaluate and get in the maintenance part. Self evaluation comes in circles. After my father passed away 8 months ago. I had to self evaluate everything! what was put in my face to deal with knock everything I once knew about myself and my life to the core. I made great strides in changing my plan. Acting on every one of them slowly. Excellent! Excellent! Excellent Blog.

1 month 29 days ago

mulberry sale

Wonderful learn, I simply handed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he truly bought me lunch as a result of I discovered it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch! Anyway, in my language, there arent much go…

1 month 28 days ago

discount herve leger

Many thanks for spreading the following excellent content on your site. I discovered it on the internet. I will check back again once you publish more aricles.


patagonia better sweater sale

This post has some strange comments, people must be using SCRAPEBOXLIST.COM

1 month 25 days ago

cheap ugg boots

At this time improvements in could also be seen in a point of contention.

1 month 23 days ago

ralph lauren store

Have you ever considered having a website online? Many people have thought of it and then taken the large step to create one. Youll do that too. In the development you do, it could be very important believe having the right kind host to your site. You…

1 month 13 days ago

mammut outlet schweiz

Hello There. I found your weblog the usage of msn. That is an extremely neatly written article. I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to read extra of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I’ll certainly comeback.

1 month 13 days ago

cheap Rene Caovilla

The style that you write make it really simple to read. And the template you use, wow. Its a really good combination. And I am wondering what is the name of the design you use?

1 month 11 days ago

Buy Callaway Golf

To the point and written well, ty for the information

1 month 9 days ago

lk bennett handbags sale

holds elements giorgio plume daryll jeunes elude tales edwall

1 month 9 days ago

cole haan on sale

This blog site is very good! How can I make one like this !

1 month 6 days ago

cole haan outlet online

Well-written blog post. I used to be checking constantly to this weblog & Im so inspired! Very useful information, especially the last few sentences. I really need such info. I used to be looking for this particular knowledge for a very long. Thank…

27 days 10 hours ago

Sergio Rossi outlet

I admire the valuable information you offer inside your content. I will bookmark your weblog and also have my youngsters test up right here often. Im fairly sure theyll learn a lot of new stuff here than anyone else!


moncler womens jackets on sale

Its about time I piped in although this was a pretty cool belief for.

23 days 15 hours ago

louis vuitton bags store

Howdy, I honestly similar to this journal as being the writings put up newest and genuinely fascinating tales..The internet site design and style is quite uncomplicated, appealing and simple and easy for customers..hold up the great function !

22 days 16 hours ago

handbags prada outlet

Hello, I found fascinating blog sikis izle, You should check it!

20 days 5 hours ago

cheap balmain jeans

Thanks a lot. It was fun hearing

19 days 4 hours ago

emu boots uk

i was reading throught some of the posts and i identify them to be plumb interesting. abject my english is not exaclty the very best. would there be anyway to transalte this into my argot, spanish. it would really help me a lot. since i could be on a p…

16 days 17 hours ago

discount ralph lauren

I’m having a little problem I cannot seem to be able to subscribe your feed, I’m using google reader fyi.

15 days 17 hours ago

emu outlet store

You made several good points there. I did a search on the subject and found a good number of folks will consent with your blog.

13 days 7 hours ago

louis vuitton bags sale

lohman unschooled hagon caro petrella asinine pudovkin knob bossanova


… [Trackback]

[…] Read More here|Read More|Read More Infos here|There you will find 62574 more Infos|Informations on that Topic: myblackmatters.com/selfie-check-how-do-i-love-me/ […]


belstaff mens leather jacket sale

I was looking around your site and noticed broken links. You might want to change it.


… [Trackback]

[…] Find More on|Find More|Find More Informations here|There you will find 18389 additional Informations|Informations to that Topic: myblackmatters.com/selfie-check-how-do-i-love-me/ […]

11 days 1 hour ago

arcteryx online

Ariel wince moonshake badtown Adrea gees tether Rajani methods

7 days 17 hours ago

mountain hardwear聽jacket

I found your weblog web site on google and examine a number of of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the superb operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. In search of forward to studying extra from you afterward!

7 days 15 hours ago

fitflop on sale

Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. It will always be stimulating to read content from other writers and practice a little something from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content on my blog whether yo…

4 days 10 hours ago

organic millets in

Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally taking time and actual effort to make a very good article but what can I say! I procrastinate alot and by no means seem to get something done.


discount Mountain Hardwear jackets

Great site dude! Ive been looking for something like this.