Written By: Alexis Ditaway
“Comparison is a true thief of joy.”
The action of comparing someone else’s successes and accomplishments to your own can cause feelings of jealousy, hate, and self-devaluation. Now more than ever, this type of envy has manifested online, with people comparing their own lives to the lives others post on Instagram and Twitter. People have become so unfocused on bettering their own lives, that they hate seeing others post their happiness.
For a time in my life, this was something that I struggled with. Seeing people gain in areas that I lacked in would put a bitter taste in my mouth. Whether it be academically or personally, seeing others doing well when I considered my successes to be mediocre would cause to me to wonder “How did they do that? Why not me? What did they do to get that?”
It took time and frustration to realize that these emotions of envy could be transformed into motivation and grind. What good was it for me to sit and wallow at what other people were doing, rather than get up and make moves myself? In the same way they got up and made something of themselves, I could do the same.
It also taught me that my success was still success, even if it wasn’t on everyone’s TL. “If you don’t get retweets, it don’t mean you say less.” Who I am and where I am going is not defined by who someone else is and where they are.
Even more importantly, what I had to take time to realize was that all I am seeing being posted online is someone’s final result. When people post their accomplishments, you don’t see how much struggle it took to get there. 140 characters may not be enough to tell how long they waited, how hard they worked, or how many times they felt like giving up.
This showed me that the same people I was envious of, were probably in my position at some point and found their way out. The time I was wasting doubting myself, I began to use bettering myself, and this became time well spent.
Sitting around jealous and annoyed at things you see on a screen is not going to better any situation. The people you see posting the positives in their lives are living them as well. Rather than focus on why they have “it” and you don’t, go out and get it for yourself! Spend less time scrolling, and more time doing. Maybe then, you’ll become someone to be envious of.