By: Aqueilla C. Terry
When I was in college, I remember my professor one day explaining to the women in the classroom that we possessed more power than we realized. That we alone could change the social structure of campus, the appearance, and even the world we lived in. Now, when he said that I agreed with him because as a young woman I knew what he said to be true. But it was years later that I understood exactly what he was saying to us.
We as women have a role in this world whether we want to acknowledge it or ignore it; we in fact have a duty to the world we live in. That duty is take care of ourselves, our children and especially our men. Yes it is our job to take of them just as much as we believe it is their job to take care of us.
So now, before you start the thought process of saying “I don’t need to take care of no man”….correction YES you do! You are to take care of him mentally, physically and emotionally the exact three areas as yourself. So with that being said we as BLACK women need to embrace the concept I am about to tell you about because it’s vital that you more than just understand what I am about to say.
We need to uplift our men, our Kings because they need to be encouraged everyday just as we do. They fight a battle every time they walk out of their doors. Imagine getting up every morning and going to work and people fear you from the parking lot to work, every store you walk into, crazy looks received from people who past you all because you are a black man. Then, having to come home only to be treated and argued with as if you are nothing by name calling, accusations, stress etc. Now, I have no idea about you but just reading that made me say “Jesus” who wants to go through that all the time. And if he does the same to you and you are wondering who would cause all of that at home. Well hunty that would be YOU.
Yes, because when your significant other comes around you remind him of all he needs to do for you and everybody else without even asking how his day went. I mean do you know what his dreams are? And if you do are you supporting those dreams? Or are you simply telling him to “Get that money” “As long as we getting money we good, God got us”. What?! Where does that make sense at?
These men have dreams and goals just like we do and they are placed on the back burner because women force them to put them there. Literally to the point where even their hobbies are frowned upon because we are no different than the people who tell them” You need to be worried about keeping your job instead of focusing on your dreams”.
Words like that are discouraging to anybody (man or woman) who wants something different for their lives but instead they either are forced to become complacent before it’s even a choice they’ve made. Our Kings need to be lifted up, loved, showed attention the same way we desire to be every day from them. So sit down and talk with them, ask them what their dreams are, jump start a game plan to help get them going.
Be supportive at every show whether they rap, sing, paint, write, or support them if they own a business they have wanted to get started forever. Support our Kings, send them “Good morning” text messages sometimes, compliment them, let them know their handsome (all of the things women complain about they want and most memes about on social media). Become those things to them as well because how can they succeed if there is no one including us to support and love them? Ask yourselves that question.So many times the things we talk about are far from what we are giving ourselves.
We expect so much from our men but neglect does something on our end. Its bigger than just living together, being afraid to loose each other, making money together, having babies…this is about praying for each other, encouraging one another, supporting each other all of this is important to do for your mate. Whether you all are talking, dating or married it is your job as a woman to be truly be the Queen you claim to be.