What Are Friends For?

By: Kiante Phelps

I started off my sophomore year with the same people I began high school with, my same diverse group of friends. The only the difference was the topics we discussed. #Blacklivesmatter, colorism, The N word , and the day to day life as a black teenager.

In high school the main objective is to figure out who you are, and finding an accepting group that limits judgment is a great achievement. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize you have a voice, but in my group everyone’s voice is heard. Although me and most of the people I associate with are minors, our conversations surpass exceptions of children.

Becoming socially aware is a journey that not many people take, especially at 15, but me and my group of friends are very in touch with our identities and together we work toward educating, empowering, and uplifting our fellow peers in our community. We believe that age has nothing to do with being socially aware, and as black youth we have to specifically be conscious of the oppression and challenges we can face just for living in our skin.

#BlackLivesMatter has an extreme impact on the knowledge we possess and the innovations we can conduct to bring about change. Personally, I spent a great deal of time worrying about my male peers becoming hashtags and experiencing irrational racial issues, but After finding out about Sandra Bland and witnessing an attempt to cover up her murder, I had a chilling fear in my own skin.

We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality.- Martin Luther king jr

In public schools we are not alone, we are at an abundance of melanin yet, most of us don’t take advantage of the opportunities that we gain together. One of the things we teach each other that school keeps quiet about, is that it is not a burden to be black. There is no shame in your shade, there is nothing ugly about your dark skin or anything lesser about the length of your hair.

As young women we find time to discuss role models and our inspirations. Our ultimate goals include breaking the barrier of not only women, but black women in fields dominated by males. We want to prove that we aren’t just pre-mature statistics, we are people, and we have hope. My girls and I show each other that there is never a situation where it’s okay for a man to put you down because of your complexion nor use us to satisfy a fetish.

We taught each other the importance of never accepting being called, “pretty for a black girl.” Or “You would be better if you were lighter.” The tones of our sun kissed skin are beautiful and we are never going to accept being considered lesser because of it. Public schools also forgot to inform students that they don’t have to live up to stereotypes. You don’t have to dance well, you don’t have to know how to sing, you don’t have to run fast, and you don’t have to be from the hood. Your background does not define your blackness

Lastly, the discussion my friends and I had about the N word hit me the hardest. Before sophomore year I thought it was just a careless word with no real meaning behind it that everyone was allowed to have in their vocabulary. The word was never used to insult me but it was necessarily used to uplift me either.

My friends provided insight on the origin on the word, and how it was created to push black people back, and keep them in a specific box of lesser value. The word isn’t weightless, and it isn’t okay for people to say it. Although many individuals use it excessively, my friends and I talk about what the word really means and teach people reasons why not to say it.

All and all I love my group of friends. I adore the way we have been able to grow into beautiful young black women together. In sub-standard conditions it’s nice to know that I have people on my side that support, educate, and help shape me into the person I want to become.