Did He Just Say What I Thought He Said? On Our First Date?

By: Marcy L.

I sat there anxiously waiting by myself for the waitress to return with our order, and my date to get back to the table from the restroom. I hadn’t realized how nervous I was until I was left alone with nothing but my own thoughts to drown in. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. This guy was one of the cutest, most popular and sought after guys on campus and he asked me of all girls, out to dinner.

He was super charming, had a gorgeous smile, and carried himself like a gentleman. I’d see him in the student union every now and then between classes. But when I did see him, we never spoke. We would awkwardly make eye contact as we checked to see whether the other person was staring or not. That staring game came to an end about a week before our date that evening; he approached me at a basketball game and asked for my number. Of course I was completely caught off guard but I didn’t hesitate to put my number in his phone.

It took him three whole days to call me, but you know who was counting? When I did finally get a call, the first thing he did was invite me to dinner the next night. Perfect, just what I wanted. It seemed as if we were already on the same page, so what could possibly go wrong?

Just as I was checking my hair in my front- facing phone camera, he returned to the table and sat in the booth directly across from me. I had no choice but to make eye contact with him. I immediately got butterflies in my stomach.

“So”.. I blurted out before it got way too awkward. Of course I didn’t have any intention of actually starting a meaningful conversation. I had no clue what to talk about. He waited and expected me to say something else.

“So what?” he said. I froze up and shrugged my shoulders. He realized that I didn’t really have a response.

Loosen up girl, sheesh. I thought to myself. He tried again.

“It took long enough for you to let me take you out.” He said as a smirk came across his face. My eyes got big and I bit my lip to hold back the huge embarrassing smile that I could feel coming on.

“It took you long enough to ask for my number.” I replied quickly without hesitation. I may have been a nervous wreck but I certainly meant that.

He immediately started blushing, and at that moment I knew that I wasn’t in this thing alone. He was just as nervous as I was, and I was glad.

“Well I have to be honest..” I got anxious again and felt my heart begin to race. What could it be? An ex-girlfriend? It had to be something along those lines.

“You’re extremely beautiful Marcia, but-”

But? I knew then that whatever was about to come out of his mouth was going to be some b******t. I sat back in my chair, folded my arms and did not break eye contact with him.

“I have to be honest. This is new to me.”

What’s new? Dating? We’re in college I thought to myself. Obviously my confusion showed on my face, because he continued with his explanation immediately.

“Usually I don’t date dark skinned girls, I like light skinned and mixed girls. But you’re just so pretty for a dark skinned girl.”

I looked around the restaurant. This negro couldn’t be talking to me. He had to have me mistaken for someone else.

“Pretty for a dark skinned girl?” I repeated. “A dark skinned girl? You didn’t just say that.”

And like a dummy, he nodded his head yes. Wow, this was the guy that I thought was such a catch? The guy that I’d been eyeing for nearly the entire semester? And a semester wasted at that?

“No offense.” He added, as if it would soften the blow. For the rest of the date I was pretty antisocial, kept my phone out and gave him short responses. It was evident to him that he struck a nerve. Yes, that was a horrible way to start off a first date but I was pissed and my feelings were hurt. To top it off, I even made sure to ignore his texts after he dropped me off, and reminded me for the third time to let him know when I had gotten back to my dorm safely.

As soon as I got in the bed, I called my best friend, and told her all about the night. Mostly about how taken back I was that “Mr. Perfect” had the nerve to say something so ridiculous to me. After letting me vent about the dinner date, she shared with me that she was told the same thing by a guy before. Not only did she experience a similar situation, but so did some of her friends.

At that point I realized this wasn’t something that just happened to me, this was a black girl thing. Black girls, especially those with browner skin are often seen as less attractive according to the standards of society. Which leads guys to tell us foolish things like: “You’re pretty for a dark skinned girl.”

The truth is, they’re partially right. We are beautiful, not because of our skin complexion, but beautiful period. Our deeper shade of brown skin makes us just as beautiful as those of lighter skin tones. That is not to separate one complexion from another, because as a whole all black girls are stunning in every way possible. However, it is important to remember that despite how many guys tell you that you’re pretty for a dark skinned girl, that you’re the bomb inside and out. No one, not even silly guys that have skin complexion requirements for dating, can take that away from you.

Have you experienced a similar situation? Have you been ever been called “Pretty for a dark skinned girl”? If so please  Share your experience in the comment section below.