Self Love Is the Best Love

By: Bianka Belmas

“Self love is the best love.” Everyone has heard of this quote and if you haven’t well you’ve heard it today. Believing that you’re beautiful, smart, intelligent and all the positive things someone can describe themselves as is so important. Self love starts within and honestly, many people fail to realize that.

I remember a time when I lacked self love and it made my life very difficult. Back in 6th grade I was a victim of bullying, and I would get bullied for everything that you can possibly think of. If I wasn’t being bullied about the shoes or clothes I was wearing then it was about my ethnicity (Haitian).

My family left Haiti and moved to the United States when I was about 4 years old, and they were all about education and becoming successful in life, so that’s what I focused on. At the time I had no idea what materialistic possessions were. I didn’t care for the newly released items and couldn’t even afford most. I would go to school wishing the day would go by quickly to avoid the strident words people would utter, and I would also try to think of ways to fit in.

I was just the smart girl that made astonishing grades in school. Looking at the other girls that basically got praised by others always had me thinking, “I want to be like her.” As a result I became disgusted with myself and with the way I looked. I would talk to my dad and he would say “ you’re beautiful,” but that didn’t mean anything to me because he’s my father, of course it’s something he would say.

I wanted other people to say it to be convinced that I was. I would loathe going out with the little friends I had due to the lack of self love I endured. Self love was the last thing in my vocabulary and my lack of it eventually began to influence my thoughts, as well as the way I acted. The absence of the love I had for myself was extremely vile.

This all lead me to a point in my life where I thought that I wasn’t good enough or up to par with the other girls. Then I came to realization that all my problems stemmed from myself and my lack of self love, and that it was me against myself. By that I mean if you don’t love yourself of course you’re going to feel like you’re nothing compared to the other women next to you, of course you’re going to feel so empty to the point it even leads to depression sometimes.

I eventually grew out of my old way of thinking and now I love who and what I am. I am an outspoken, humbled, stunning black woman, that believes in myself. When I walk I stand tall knowing what I stand for.

When I participate in a specific task I do it with the pride of an amazing black woman. When I speak I project, therefore you hear the words of my wisdom. I stand out and show people my inner and outer beauty.

In talking about self love, it is important to understand that self love is not about being conceited or egocentric. It has nothing to do with those two words at all. It’s about caring and taking responsibility for oneself.

If you have to wake up in the morning, and give yourself a little hug then do it. Love the skin you’re in. From time to time give yourself a pat on the back and be proud of what you’ve achieved.

I’m here to tell you, beautiful black woman, that you are gorgeous. You are special and there is no one like you in this world. You deserve to be loved by the most important person in your life, which is you. I am also here to tell you that no man can tell you opposite because you know who you are and the opinions of others don’t matter, that you stand out when you walk in a room, that you glow, that you’re amazing, that you are strong, that you are capable of anything, and that your black matters! So stand out, be proud of who you are and love yourself.