From an Ardent Feminist: Who Gets to Tell Me I’m Oppressed?

By: Zainab Korah

Nowadays in our overly opinionated world, everyone seems to have a view on how things should be. Free speech has changed so much that now it seems as if everyone has access to tell me how I should act and what model my life should emulate in order for me to consider myself a fulfilled woman.

At some point in society we developed a voice, that determines what we should and shouldn’t do, an almost anonymous one that voices unsaid but accepted views; women should be feminine but not too girly, Women should make their voices heard but not be too loud, Black women should stand up for themselves but not become an ‘Angry black woman’.

However in the midst of my angered internal rant I come across many questions; since when did it become bad to be girly? Why is it a thing to be eradicated or changed, or looked upon with disdain as if those who choose to act so are playing up to archaic social expectations of girls and therefore do not have a proper sense of reality or a mind of their own by choosing to live how they want?

In a world where our social positions are designed from birth through the sometimes overlooked and trivial process of something as simple as a pink or blue blanket. From then on the boys are expected to be masculine and confident whereas the girls are expected to be cute and girly.

Moving on from my tangent, I digress and ask myself the most important question. Who gets to tell me I’m oppressed?. Is it the same voice that decides that I should prefer pink over blue, or the one that tells me not be an angry black woman whilst shoving me quite firmly into the stereotype? It puzzles me as it makes me question whether black people are ever associated with anything other than pain; whether their stories of love, joy and tribulations are conveniently moved away from the white scope of vision so that all we do see is the pain and brutality suffered by black people.

If that is so, then I can only be seen as oppressed. I can then only be seen as a cause for charity, I can then only be seen as someone to be ‘guided’ in order to reach my ‘full potential’. Note the extensive use of apostrophes as I find it quite laughable that a person can be ‘guided’ by another person with equal characteristics other than their whiteness.

It is almost as if they have graduated from a university that I have always been denied access to, which gives them the qualification to try and open my eyes and tell me I am oppressed as in their school of life they have acquired many skills that I will never know, thus they are then able and even allowed and justified ( by themselves) to tell me when I should feel sad, when I should laugh and be happy, and ultimately when I am oppressed.

It seems that it is decided when people should feel sorry for black people and when they should casually turn a blind eye. It’s as if the video of a black child being violently mistreated by a police man should hold more weight on the pity scales then, say another case of a black man being falsely incarcerated. In my mind I almost see it as a cruel caricature of a talent show where it is decided which cases of black suffering should garner the most pity and which ones should be dismissed with a simple, ‘wow, that’s crazy.’

So who does get to tell me that I am oppressed? the answer is simple; no one. not society, not that voice, no one. I am quite glad that I can love myself for the independent black girl I am and hope to grow to love myself even more, knowing that I do not have to be held by any metaphorical chains as I choose to be free.