The Struggles of Dating as a 20-something Year Old Virgin

By: Jerrica K. Wiley

I am a unicorn. I mean it. I am a freaking unicorn. Not a rainbow unicorn but a black one. Yea. I’m a black unicorn. Why am I a unicorn? Because I am a very rare type of woman, that is, according to this guy I was talking to. It was the moment that he asked me for proof. The very moment that he called me a liar that I had an epiphany, a revelation, a brain fart, or any other creative niche you could come up with that would apply to the situation; I had it at that very moment.

I was in the beginnings of a relationship with a guy, a guy whom I had actually really liked and I just felt in my gut that he would be the one, it’s almost like our relationship is a product of dating9.com with no flaws, because we clicked so well and right away which is unheard of compared to the recent guys that I’d dated. I am a Christian woman and with that being said, whenever I do anything I always ask God for guidance.

I always ask Him to lead me down the right path. When I had prayed about this particular guy, I felt in my spirit that God wanted me to go ahead and tell him about my vow before things got really serious with us. See, when I was fifteen years old I made a vow to God that I would remain a virgin until I was married. Here I was at twenty five years old telling this guy that I’m a virgin and his immediate response was, “Show me the proof.” So, what was the epiphany?

I realized that I was completely over the entire situation altogether. Forget about men. Forget about relationships. Forget about it all! The rest of my week consisted of many phone calls and text messages from Mr.ShowMeTheProof saying that he just can’t believe it because society has shown him otherwise and this infamous line of his: “I feel like you just told me that Popeye’s sells tacos.” Oh and this one too : “All my life people have been telling me that pigs don’t fly.”

From me he received a bunch of messages that said and I quote:
“Please piss off!”

“I don’t care what society has shown you!”

“Die!”

Okay, you get the point, I was anything but nice. I get that he was surprised that a black woman at the age of twenty five was still a virgin but the disrespect that he spewed at me had completely turned me off and right then I was done. He even told me that I was way too confident to be a virgin. So, I guess virgins are supposed to be timid and insecure or something?

Seriously, is it more acceptable for a woman to say, “Hey I’ve had about fifty three sexual partners, do you want to be number fifty four?”, then for her to say, “I’m a virgin and I want to stay that way until I’m married. I hope you understand.”?

Is our society really that messed up? The answer is yes! It’s completely unacceptable to be a virgin now-a-days and that is so absurd. Not everyone’s life is centered on sex. I mean, I can’t miss something that I’ve never had. But back to Mr. ShowMeTheProof, did I mention that he’d begin asking about me to other people?

He needed some witnesses to attest to the fact that I was a virgin. That didn’t do anything but further disgust me and piss me off. In the end I offered to give him the number to my gynecologist, surely he’d believe her, right? Eh, probably not.

Anyway, that’s when I became completely comfortable with being by myself. I didn’t care about Mr. Right anymore. Hell, I decided to just stop looking. I became content with being alone. At that moment, there was no such thing as loneliness. I was actually fine. I know who I am and I know my self worth and if I’m dating a guy and he can’t wait until we’re married to have sex then to hell with him. I just keep trucking on or err- galloping (since I’m a unicorn and all).